Why Trying to Moderate Your Drinking is a Bitch
Have you ever had this conversation with yourself?
It’s Thursday. You’ve been invited to an afterwork happy hour.
You think, great, I’ll have one glass of wine, and then head home.
No, wait. I’ll have two white wine spritzers, instead. That way I can have two drinks, which will make me feel like I’m part of the group.
Wait, better yet, I’ll have a glass of wine, than a glass of water, and then another glass of wine. Perfect.
How much time (and energy) are you wasting thinking about drinking?
If you spend a lot of time bargaining with yourself whenever alcohol is involved, which leads to a lot of “rules” around your drinking, you might want to take a step back.
You might not even be aware of these rules. They’ve just become part of your daily inner monologue, and it might sound something like this…
No drinking by myself. At least one other person needs to be with me.
No drinking before 5:00 p.m.
No hard alcohol during the week
I’m only going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, etc.)
I can’t have more than two drinks on a week night.
I can’t drink more than two nights in a row.
But, what really starts to happen is that the more rules you put in place, the less likely you are to follow any of them, because…
Rules are made to be broken
Right?
I see you. You’re a bit of a rebel. Always have been. Always will be.
But, every Monday morning you find yourself ready to recommit to moderating your drinking during the upcoming week. No drinking all week, you tell yourself. Then on Friday you can treat yourself to that pricey bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, and relax on the couch.
You make it to Tuesday. But, then you have a fight with your mother, you piss off your teenage son, and traffic is ridiculous on the way home from work. You think, “What the hell? I have to get groceries tonight anyway, might as well throw a box of wine into the cart.”
And you’re right back where you started.
Your sense of self-worth is taking a beating
Despite your rebellious streak, you hate the way you feel every time you break one of your rules.
You feel demoralized.
You can’t seem to do anything right.
You’re trying to do something good for your health. You’re trying to be a good role model for your kids. But, you can’t even make it through the week without breaking promises you make to yourself.
The constant bargaining that’s going on in your head is wearing you down.
You know alcohol isn’t doing you any favors. It’s disrupting your sleep. You’re finding yourself in more arguments with your partner and/or your kids. You’ve ditched working out in the morning, because your head’s too groggy from the night before, and coffee is the only thing you can handle.
So, what to do?
It’s easier to just quit drinking
Which on the surface might not make any sense. You’re having such a hard time trying to moderate, it’s gotta take way more willpower to just quit. But, removing alcohol from the equation, means no longer have to spend all the energy trying to enforce rules that keep beating you down.
Trust me. The end days of my drinking were filled with elaborate and arcane rules that were constantly shifting as I broke one after another. I was letting myself down, daily, and that kind of self-disappointment was like a constant stream of micro-cuts to my soul.
Once I made the decision to quit drinking, I no longer had that constant stream of thoughts about how much I could drink, at what time, with who, and where.
The early days of sobriety were challenging, but I had the support of a few friends, and I leaned hard into my sketchbook, herbal teas, and reading as much quit-lit I could get my hands on.
Take a moment and think about why you’re putting so many rules around your drinking. You might just decide that it’s no longer worth it. Maybe you’re ready to try something new, like living a life without alcohol.
Ready to take the next step? Reach out and book your FREE 30 minute STRONGER SOBER session.
I’ve got you.