How to Strengthen Your Sobriety Using the 3 C’s
If you’re like many of my clients you’ve been looking for a way to feel better. You always feel a little foggy. Your energy seems to be all over the place. And, your sleep patterns? Forget about it.
You know deep down that something feels a little off. You’ve spent a small fortune on wellness remedies and self-care routines. You’ve tried yoga classes, and juice cleanses. Crystals and tarot readings. Self-help books and retreats. But, exploring your alcohol intake has never been on your list of things to explore.
The health benefits you gain from exploring your relationship with alcohol are often powerful enough to transform your life. However, on a much deeper level the THREE Cs will send shock waves through your body, mind, and soul.
And, what are these magical THREE Cs? Let me introduce CLARITY, CURIOSITY, and CONSCIOUSNESS.
Let’s dig in to how they’re going to rock your world.
CLARITY (AKA I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW)
Five years ago, when I stepped into my own sobriety journey, mental and emotional clarity were the things that hit me the hardest. To be honest I really wasn’t expecting this.
I meditated. I journaled. I sketchbooked. I thought I was pretty clear on who I was, and how my thoughts were running through my head. Ha!
I had no clue that the constant state of fog I lived under. It can take up to 72 hours for alcohol to leave your body. So, if you’re kicking back with a glass or two (or three or four), every night alcohol never fully leaves your system.
Once I got rid of the alcohol there was a brand-new sharpness to my thoughts. I felt more comfortable with who I was. The low-level anxiety and depression I had been dealing with since my divorce, lessened.
CURIOSITY (AKA ASK LOTS OF QUESTIONS. COLLECT LOTS OF DATA)
The only thing that exploring your relationship with alcohol means is that you’re curious about a toxic substance that you’ve been putting in your body for years (maybe decades) and you’re ready to see how you might feel if you were no longer consuming it.
THAT’S ALL IT MEANS.
It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It doesn’t mean that you forever have to carry around shame and guilt. It doesn’t mean that you need to put any sort of label onto your drinking.
I encourage my clients to kick their curiosity into high gear and explore. Start off by asking yourself lots of questions.
Do you even enjoy drinking anymore? Does drinking align with your current values and the kind of life you want to be living? Does your social life consist of activities that are centered around alcohol (even activities that involve your children – like birthday parties, sporting events, family nights out)? What kind of experiences could you bring into your life if they weren’t centered on alcohol?
Then collect lots of data. Do you feel better when you’re not drinking? In what ways? How is your sleep? What feelings are coming up when you’re not drinking? Do you connect with people in your life differently? In what ways?
CONSCIOUSNESS (AKA THE PRESENT MOMENT IS ALL YOU HAVE)
Using alcohol to self-medicate and soothe is a socially acceptable way for you to escape from your life.
Need a little boost after trying to juggle your career and your family? Grab a bottle of wine on the way home, and relax. You deserve it.
Walking into an event where you don’t know anyone? Try some Tito’s and soda to give you that hit of “liquid courage.”
Removing alcohol from your life allows you to stay focused on the present moment. You’re better able to name what you’re feeling, or at least attempt to name what you’re feeling. You’re able to process what you’re working through in real time. You’re not continuously avoiding the things you need to deal with, whether it’s the hard emotions that are coming up, or the difficult conversation you need to have with your partner.
You start to become so present in your life, which might feel awkward at first, but you will begin to feel your strength gathering force. You begin to have the space to figure out who the hell you really are.
I always think about the last two lines from Mary Oliver’s poem The Summer Day – “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
My answer, for so many years, was to sit on my couch with a bottle of wine, most nights of the week. That was what I was choosing to do with my “one wild and precious life.”
I was wrapping the present in a layer of bubble wrap so I didn’t have to feel my own life.
Now I sit in the comfortable and the uncomfortable. The joy and the pain. The beauty and the horror. But, that is what living a wild and precious life is all about.
Leaning into the 3 C’s (CLARITY, CURIOSITY, & CONSCIOUSNESS) can help strengthen your sobriety, especially if you feel you’re white-knuckling your alcohol-free life.
Here’s to open minds and an open hearts.
__________________________________________________________________________
If you’re ready to get curious about your relationship with alcohol you can learn more HERE.
I’ve got you.