5 Questions to Ask Yourself When You Think You Might be Ready to Quit Drinking
Let me guess, you’ve always been a bit of a rebel, but at the same time you like to follow the crowd. You don’t like to stand out too much. You’re just going with the flow as much as you can – wine at the book club (what would your friends say if you told them you didn’t feel like drinking tonight?).
Drinks on the couch with your partner after the kids have gone to bed (you’re ready for bed too, but you feel you owe it to your partner to spend time with him)
Boozy afterwork happy hours (you don’t want to be the weirdo drinking Seltzer and lime all night).
But here you are in mid-life, and somewhere deep down inside you have a gut feeling you’re too old for this shit. And, the shit you’re too old for is the crazy cycle of binge-drinking you find yourself locked into. You’re surprised at how much time you spend thinking about when, and where, and how much you’re going to drink.
You can keep your promise to yourself to hit the gym, instead of the wine bottle, most days of the week – but all it takes is an angry word from your partner, attitude from your kids, or a rough email from your boss and you hit the well-worn trail to the liquor store to pick up that bottle of wine to get you through the discomfort.
Add that to the fact that you’ve spent approximately four or five decades living in your body and you’re not liking the way drinking is making you feel. Headaches and groggy mornings, crappy nights of sleep, bloating and puffiness you can’t seem to get rid of. Not to mention alcohol isn’t helping you reach the goals you want to reach in your life.
So, what’s a mid-life party girl to do, when the party life is no longer working for her?
I’m going to ask you to get curious. Lean into your rebelliousness, and listen to that gut feeling that says maybe there’s a different way to approach a Friday night.
I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS FOR YOU…
Getting curious, means asking yourself some questions, and taking the time to answer honestly.
Don’t cloud your responses with shame, or judgement, or how you think you should answer, or what your friend Suzy would say. This is about you, and the one life that you have. If you’re at that place where drinking is starting to feel really heavy, and being sober, or sober-curious is starting to sound pretty sweet, then you owe it to yourself to be honest.
Grab a notebook and a pen (and a cup of coffee or tea.) Set your timer for five minutes. And, get writing. I’m talking stream on consciousness, unedited,”I-don’t-care-about-my-spelling-or-if-I-can-even-read-it-I-just-need-to-get-it-all-out” kind of writing.
1. Is alcohol still working for me? It’s so easy to get stuck in habits and patterns and not even take the time to stop and check in to see what you really need.
2. How is alcohol making me feel? Don’t stop at the way it makes you feel on the surface – think about how it’s making you feel deep down - mentally, emotionally, socially, physically, and spiritually.
3. What areas of my life has alcohol taken over? What are the activities you don’t do anymore? The people you no longer see? The places you no longer go?
4. Does drinking align with the person I am now? You likely drinking somewhere in your teens or 20’s. You’re a very different person now, with very different goals. Write about what feels out of alignment to you.
5. What would “future you” tell “present you” in this situation? Time usually gives us a different perspective on choices we did or didn’t make. Plus, aren’t we supposed to get wise with age? Think about you five years from now, what advice do you want to give to yourself.
Pens down. Stand up and shake it all out. What bubbled up?
I’m here if you’re ready to talk to someone about your relationship with alcohol you can learn more HERE.
I’ve got you.