3 Beliefs About Mommy Wine Culture (and what you can do instead.)
Over the last few years, I’ve had the pleasure to work with a lot of women who struggle with their drinking, especially over the holidays.
These women haven’t hit rock bottom. They don’t have a DUI, and they haven’t lost their children, their marriage, or their job.
In fact, they’re doing it all and knocking it out of the park most days.
Except they’re exhausted, and unfulfilled, and they’re washing their days down with a bottle or two of wine almost every night.
And you know what I’ve noticed? That their drinking became an act of self care. A way to soothe themselves as they juggled the stresses of trying to be everything to everybody, something that is greatly exacerbated during the holiday season.
Using alcohol as self-care is a belief that is perpetuated by “mommy-wine culture” and it’s doing you more harm than good.
I’m going to bust three of those beliefs today in the hopes that discussing them will help you recognize the behaviors in your own life! And offer some alternatives that just might feel a whole lot better!
Belief #1: You Deserve It After the Day You’ve Had: I get it. Adulting is hard. Somehow you managed to piss of both your children before they got on the schoolbus; you’re super close to missing a major work deadline; you forgot to take the casserole out of the freezer in the morning, so who knows what’s for dinner; and on top of all that you’re hosting Thanksgiving for 15 people next week. Storming into the house and declaring you need a drink because you had such a shitty day, probably isn’t the kind of role modeling you want to do for your kids.
New Strategy: Find a way to disrupt your bad habit of reaching for a bottle of wine everytime something goes wrong. Phone a friend, run around the backyard screaming with your kids, write a full page rant in your journal, spend some time making a mess in a sketchbook (I can help you with that!) The idea isn’t to numb, but to process out loud.
Belief #2: Wine Time = Me Time: You might think your nightly glass of wine is a cozy way to wind down at the end of your day, but instead it’s ramping you up for a night-time of restless sleep. It’s also robbing you of any good intentions you might have had that night, like going for a run, or meditating. Practices that nourish and restore you.
New Strategy: Make some time for yourself. It might seem counter-intuitive, given your already jam-packed schedule. Alone time doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Some days it might be 15 minutes behind the locked door of the bathroom, drinking a cup of coffee and listening to a podcast. Other days it’s a glorious three mile hike in the woods. Start keeping a list of all the ways you can nurture yourself.
Belief #3: What’s the harm in a few drinks? This is one of the biggest myths out there. There is no amount of alcohol safe for consumption. In 2023, the World Health Organization stated that no amount of alcohol is safe for consumption. The report continues, “Alcohol is a toxic, psychoactive, and addictive substance, and was classified as a Group 1 carcinogen by the International Agency for Research on Cancer. This is the highest risk group, which also includes asbestos, radiation and tobacco. Alcohol causes at least seven types of cancer, including the most common cancer types, such as bowel cancer and female breast cancer.”
New Strategy: Trade your “go-to” beverage for a non-alcoholic alternative. The alcohol free beverage industry is off the hook. Spicy, sweet, savory, fizzy, sour, hoppy - there are so many choices! Head to your nearest grocery store, or do a quick Google search to see what’s available to order.
I hope this was helpful. I want you to know there’s no judgment here, when it comes to mommy wine culture - I’ve been there, done that, burned the t-shirt.
If you’re ready to explore your relationship with alcohol, reach out and book a STRONGER SOBER session.