4 Things All My Clients Wrestle With In Early Sobriety

I know exactly where you are in your drinking. You’re at that point where you’re questioning if you’re drinking too much, but you’re not really sure. You have so many questions. Is it going to be hard to go without your nightly glass (or bottle) of wine? What does it look like to step into 30 days (or more) of not drinking? What would you even do with yourself if you weren’t drinking?

I get it. I had all those same questions too, and so do my clients.

Here’s a roundup of the most common struggles I see with my clients in early sobriety. This way you can get an overview of what might pop up on your journey, and how to stay one step ahead.

Joy – By the time my clients come to me, alcohol is so intertwined in almost every activity and relationship they have. When I took a step back and looked at my own life I was pretty shocked at how small my world had become. The tendency at this early point is to start to romanticize alcohol and how much fun it brings you. But alcohol does no such thing. Think of the last few situations you’ve found yourself in- at the beach & drinking, in your neighbor’s backyard & drinking, at your daughter’s soccer tournament & drinking. There’s not much joy in any of those things.

The work I do with my clients is about reimagining experiences and situations and seeing where they can bring joy into their lives. For example, instead of sitting at the beach, one hand on the cooler, what if you took surf lessons? Built a massive sandcastle with your kids? Got up at the crack of dawn (hangover free) and watched the sunrise?

Curiosity - Most of my clients are not physically addicted to alcohol, so my work with them revolves more around getting super curious about why they’re drinking in the first place. I ask my clients to start collecting data about the impact alcohol has on their mental health, physical health, and social relationships right from the beginning. This curiosity is a big part of the work.

This exploration and curiosity might feel strange at first. This is where you start to dig into getting comfortable with the discomfort. Alcohol use slowly creeps into our lives, and we rarely take the time to question why we think we need it. It’s something that most of us have blindly participated in since high school, or college.

This is where the use of the sketchbook becomes so instrumental as a place to keep track of your observations and explorations. You can read more about the importance of the sketchbook here.

Sense of Self – There’s a lot of talk about the mechanics and side effects and possible impact of alcohol, but we don’t talk enough about the reason behind why you’re drinking in the first place. To numb, to escape, because you hate yourself, to release the pain, because you don’t know how to cope, because you’re stressed, because you’re sad, because you’re lonely, because you’re grieving.

All of those reasons are behind why you’re drinking and all of this can be tied into the fact that you don’t accept yourself, that you don't feel comfortable in your own skin. You’ve been told you’re too much, you’re too loud, you’re too quiet, you’re too all the things and so you drink to make yourself really small, or you drink to make yourself the life of the party.

Digging into these identities is one way my clients begin to work towards radical self-acceptance. There is so much growth in this space as they start to figure out who they are and stop fighting themselves.

Connection – I’ve already talked about how alcohol makes your world so small, until you’re often left alone drinking on your couch. It does this by severing the connection you have with yourself; then you lose the connection with your family and friends; and then your community. For so many of my clients in those end days alcohol is the thing that is holding so many of their friendships and relationships together.

It’s no wonder the early days of sobriety can leave you feeling like you’re on a desert island. I invite my clients to breathe into this space. This is a chance for them to first of all reconnect with themselves Figuring out who they are. What kind of mother, sister, wife, partner, friend, employee, business owner they want to be. The kind of people they want to bring into their lives. Not everyone gets another chance to do this, my clients do.

If you're curious about exploring your relationship with alcohol, reach out and book a STRONGER SOBER session, under the WORK WITH ME tab.

I've got you!