There’s this weird thing that happens when you start to explore your relationship with alcohol and move towards sobriety or sober-curiosity. Nobody really knows what to do with you. Nobody really knows what box they’re supposed to put you in.
Complicated feelings are triggered when you all of a sudden show up at your book club with a six pack of cherry flavored seltzer, or a bottle of kombucha. Or when you invite your friends over for dinner and let them know you won’t be serving alcohol, but they can bring their own if they want.
The fact that you’re stepping back and exploring the impact this addictive and poisonous substance has on your body, can leave friends and family members feeling betrayed. Like you’ve somehow abandoned them along the side of the road. And, in some cases you might be, and that’s okay. Never allow the opinions of others keep you from evolving. You absolutely have the right to question whatever you’re putting in your body.
The most difficult thing for friends and family members to comprehend, is that you look just like them. You don’t fit the mold of what someone with a “drinking problem” looks like. You’re not passing out behind a dumpster on a regular basis. You’re not waking up and cracking open a cold beer with your cornflakes.
Instead, you look like the woman who has it all together, on the outside at least. You most likely have the house, the kids, the career, the volunteer positions, the vacations. Your drinking doesn’t look that much different than the other moms in your playgroup – a few glasses of Sauvignon Blanc every night – maybe an entire bottle on an especially difficult day. In fact, you most likely have a few friends or family members who drink more than you do.
This is why it’s so confusing. When you take that first step towards figuring alcohol is no longer working for you, the people in your life can make you feel like a failure. Like somehow you’ve broken the social code and you’re to blame because you can’t “drink responsibly.”
It’s time for a new playbook. It’s time to remember who the hell you were, before alcohol started telling you who you SHOULD be. When Cheryl Strayed wrote about her own drinking, said there can be a problem, without a problem You get to decide when your drinking is a problem
I lost myself in my drinking. Alcohol does that to you. It makes you second guess yourself. It likes to keep you small. But, after I dusted myself off, I realized that I was the one in control of the narrative. I was the one who had a chance to create a new life for myself.
It wasn’t always easy, but I’m glad I didn’t stay stuck being the person my friends and family thought I should be.
If you’re curious about exploring your relationship with alcohol, reach out and book a STRONGER SOBER session, under the WORK WITH ME tab.
I’ve got you!