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March 15, 2023
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You know when you’re on a roller-coaster, and you’re hanging on so tight because you’re scared and excited, and can’t wait for the ride to be over? That’s kind of what white-knuckling it through your sobriety is like. You find yourself hanging on for dear life, trying to ride everything out.
You’re stuck in the thinking of all you have to do to get, and stay sober, is to quit drinking. And, yes, not drinking is obviously the main part of sobriety. But if you’re not making any real changes in your life, or digging down into the emotional baggage you’ve carried around for years, then you’ll start to feel like you’re barely hanging on.
Working on your emotional baggage, is like leveling up your sobriety. It takes you to the place where you move from resenting the fact that you can’t drink, where you think your missing out on everything, to a place of pure joy and radical self-acceptance.
All you need is a willingness to do this work for yourself. It’s messy work. Life is messy. Numbing yourself for years or decades, was like shoving all the crap on your bedroom floor into your closet so your room looked clean. Now it’s time to deal with all that stuff you shoved in the closet. Sort through it. Keep what you need, and get rid of the rest.
I get it. It’s scary to be alone with your thoughts because all of a sudden there is nothing there to buffer those thoughts. To dull those thoughts. To numb those thoughts. To slow those thoughts down. They are out in the open and staring you in the face.
WHAT TO DO INSTEAD OF WHITE KNUCKLING IT
REACH OUT FOR HELP
This can start out as talking to someone you trust about how you’re feeling. If that’s not working reach out to a therapist or a coach, so you can find that support. You do not have to be involved in any sort of 12 step program in order to start working on your emotional baggage. 12 Step programs have their place, but if they’re not for you, carry on, and find something that does work.
GET REAL GOOD AT PROCESSING
The key is not only to get your emotions flowing, but figuring out how to process these emotions so that you can move into them comfortably and you’re not getting stuck. This could look like meditation, sketchbooking (how about you check out this anchor page video and see how that lands), a good conversation with a friend, a solo run outside, running around the backyard with your kids, or screaming into a pillow. Anything that gets you out of your head and into your body.
YOU HAVE A CHOICE
Recognize you have a choice in how you want to respond to any emotion. You can either sink down into it; sometimes you do need a really good cry when you’re sad. Or, you can find a way to move through it; take a minute to figure out why you’re sad and what you can do about it. An emotion is simply information you get to decide what to do with it. Emotions also only last for about 15 minutes, so knowing that heading in, can make it easier to know that you won’t be stuck there forever.
If you’re tired of white knuckling your sobriety, or are just curious about where to start, please reach out and book a STRONGER SOBER session. I’ve got you.
