It’s Okay to Ask for Help with Your Drinking

The first time I tried to quit drinking I didn’t know how to ask for help. I had a brief conversation with my husband, and the neighbor across the hall, who both told me that I most definitely did not have a drinking problem. That maybe I had been overdoing it lately, but all I really needed to do was to take a few days off, and I’d be fine.

And, I believed them. I believed them because I didn’t want to have to deal with the shame and stigma that comes with admitting you have a problem with alcohol.

Even though deep down I knew that alcohol was slowly making me disappear. I looked put together on the outside, but on the inside, I was dying. Losing my confidence, my hopes, my dreams, and I was falling into a swamp of anxiety and depression.

I admit some of that shame and judgement was self-inflicted. Who wants to admit that they’ve fucked up? That they’re scared they’re no longer in control of their drinking? That they’re lost in their own life?

Not me.

Especially, when the only way out I knew was to start going to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. I had seen my dad go through that for decades. What would it say about me if I walked into a church basement? I wasn’t ready to throw my hat into that ring yet.

Sober for four years, I now have a very different view of those church basements, and the shame you might feel about reaching out for help when you’re lost in your drinking.

Mainly, that there are so many different ways to receive help. The community and fellowship found in AA meetings works for some. For others, working with a sobriety coach or therapist is easier.

And, why should you be ashamed for admitting you’re addicted to an addictive substance? After all, if you reached out to your friend for support in quitting smoking, or your sugar intake, or your crystal meth habit, you would find open arms and understanding. But when you talk about quitting drinking, whether it’s for your health or to save your soul, so much fucking judgement often rushes up to great you.

Not to mention that women are judged so harshly for things that men are not judged for. How terrible that a mother would drink with her kids around, but Dads have been passing out in their Lazy-Boys for eons.

In the end I was stronger than that judgement. And, 10 years after I first started questioning my relationship to alcohol, I got sober. I look back and wish I hadn’t let the opinions of others, and my own sham get in the way of my recovery. But I’m also so damn happy that for the past 1460 days I’ve decided to put myself first.

You are stronger than that judgement. You know what you need. You absolutely have the right to question whatever it is you’re putting in your body, whenever you damn well want to.

I’ve got you. If you’re ready to start exploring your relationship with alcohol, please reach out and book a STRONGER SOBER session.