Close
Your sobriety is only as strong as you are. Meaning, when you’re fragile, your sobriety is too.
How do I know this? Because I recently went through something in my personal life that brought me to my knees.
And, my first thought was, “I need a bottle of gin.”
And, that surprised the fuck out of me, because I have almost four years of sobriety in my corner.
That’s 45 months, 196 weeks, 1372 days, and 32,931 hours that I’ve protected, and nurtured, and stood in my sobriety.
And, wham, just like that I was close to losing it.
So, what did I do?
I went to the gas station and bought a pack of cigarettes. Not super proud of this, but I figured it was better than buying that bottle of gin.
I came home and sat on my deck until 10:00 when I knew the liquor stores would all be closed.
I went to an online meeting.
I reached out to a bunch of friends, and told them I was thinking of drinking. They all told me how proud they were of me for reaching out for support, and for not taking a drink.
One of my friends was so worried about me that she came and stayed with me for two days, which I so appreciated.
Then the next morning I woke up and immersed myself in some of the tools I use in my creative life and my coaching practice, namely anchor pages and sketchbooking.
I allowed all those feelings I was feeling to just move through me, instead of numbing them. It took a few days. Lots of talking things out with friends, lots of sketchbooking, lots of just sitting on my deck and looking at the woods.
This whole experience just made me so aware of the need for support and for having people in your corner who you can reach out to; and for having a pocketful of healthy coping strategies. And, yes, I realize cigarettes are not on the list of healthy coping strategies, but in the moment, I felt it was what I had to work with.
If you’re in the space of feeling a little fragile with your feelings or life events, and trying to remain sober at the same time, we should talk.
