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March 15, 2023
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Discomfort is a given as you move into sobriety. So many coaches and alcohol-free advocates focus on all the positive aspects, which is great, because there are many (better sleep, clearer skin, less inflammation, mood stability.) I just don’t want you to get fooled into thinking that once you get sober it’s going to be all rainbows and sunshine. Like with any big change there will be good days, and bad days, the trick is to find ways to make the bad days, better.
This is especially true if you were using alcohol to numb yourself, or to distract yourself, or to avoid having to deal with what was happening in your life. Removing alcohol is a bit like opening Pandora’s box, you’ll be feeling everything.
Here are five easy ways to help ease some of that discomfort.
Sit – Getting really still and leaning into the discomfort is a good first step. Close your eyes. Try to pinpoint what it is that you’re feeling? What is the discomfort? Where is it coming from? Taking time to dig down into what is really making you sad, or angry, or frustrated gives you time to know how to deal with it, instead of simply react to it or ignore it. If you want to take it a step further download the HOW WE FEEL app. It’s a great way to expand your emotional vocabulary and get into the habit of naming what you’re feeling.
Breathe – Coming back to your breath is another easy way to learn to sit through discomfort and to know that you’re going to be okay. The bonus is you can really do this anywhere. Close your eyes, or keep them open your choice, and start to take some deep, intentional breaths. After your first few, begin to focus on making your exhale longer than the inhale. Studies show that just two minutes of deep breathing with a longer exhalation engages the vagus nerve, which helps to calm you down.
Move – Sometimes when things feel uncomfortable in your body, it’s a reminder to get up and move to start processing them. This can be as simple as walking around the block, dancing in the kitchen with your kids, or going for a 5-mile run. Whatever feels right to you and is easy to access. Regular movement helps reduce anxiety by telling your brains “flight or fight” system that things are okay right now. As an added bonus movement will also help reduce cravings because your reward system is being rewired as dopamine floods your body.
Create – Your nervous system was not built to withstand the constant barrage of messages, memes, news articles, and status updates that is life on social media. It’s so easy to get stuck in the vicious cycle of consuming more and more content in an effort to try and stay “up-to-date.” Engaging in creative pursuits breaks this cycle of constant consumption and allows your nervous system to reset. Again, it doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Cooking a good meal, gardening, journaling, and radical sketchbooking (the method that I teach – you can find more info here), all go towards outlets for expressing your creative energy.
Seek – Your tolerance for discomfort is as unique to you as your fingerprint. If none of the above is helping, don’t hesitate to reach out for support and guidance. Sometimes all you need is a trusted friend to help you feel a little more settled. Other times you might need to reach out to a coach or a therapist who can help you with what you’re going through in your sobriety and can provide tools that are tailored for your specific situation. Don’t get stuck in the thinking that you’re supposed to have this all figured out yourself. Sobriety is a journey and you’re learning as you go along.
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