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It happens every year. The season between Thanksgiving and the New Year becomes like one giant excuse to overindulge in pretty much everything. People drink and eat all the crap they want to, and then keep their fingers crossed that their new year’s resolutions will absolve them.
But you’re smarter this year. You know that alcohol is no longer working for you and you’ve been sober for a while. Your tired of feeling like shit, and feeling disconnected from yourself, your partner, and your family.
You understand that so much trauma and bullshit come out of drinking around the holidays. Depression, anxiety and overwhelm are real, so why continue to use a substance that only exacerbates all of that.
Along with all this new found clarity around your relationship with alcohol, you’re also feeling a little nervous. What if you’re in a situation and you’re feeling pressured to drink. You don’t want to spend the entire season hidden in your room (although sometimes that is a sweet thought) or white-knuckling it around the holiday table. So, what to do?
I have a few ideas for you.
Put up some hard boundaries about how you want to spend your time and who you want to spend your time with. You don’t have to do any holiday tradition that you don’t want to. Get intentional. Time is a precious resource that you’ll never get back. Do you really need to expose yourself to your Uncle Rodney’s misogynistic rants this year? Guess what, you sure don’t. So, figure out where you want to be. Create a holiday season and events that you don’t have to escape from. Create the routines that are going to nourish you.
Get intentional with what you are going to drink. Don’t over think it, but have a plan for what you’re going to drink at different events and meals. Make sure you always bring along one thing you can drink that’s fun and festive. It can be as simple as new seltzer flavor, or all the ingredients for a full on mocktail, but you get to decide. Being prepared will help you with one less decision you have to make while you’re out socializing.
Don’t forget to nourish yourself. Bad decisions happen when you’re not looking after yourself properly. And, deciding you can handle “just one drink” is always a bad decision. It will leave you feeling guilt and shame and who needs more of that shit over the holidays. So, make sure you get enough sleep, eat the foods that make you feel strong and supported, and take the time to keep up with the routines that support your sobriety. All these things go towards helping you stay grounded as much as possible.
Get good at saying no. Closely related to the boundary issue, you don’t need to go to every holiday party or event you’re invited to. Stay away from the ones you know might be a struggle. Like your neighbors Ugly Sweater party, where they drinks are all doubles, and everyone gets super drunk. It’s hard as a sober person to be in that situation because everyone is walking around with glazed over eyes, and no one is even present. So why bother? Work on creating some new alcohol-free traditions instead – like sunrise hikes, night-time sledding, or whatever gets you excited.
Practice saying your why. Repeatedly until it just rolls off your tongue. So, when your co-worker tries to tempt you to have just one drink at the office party, you already know what you’re going to say. Don’t get in the habit of sugar coating your reasons to quit drinking, so you can make the other person comfortable. When I first quit, and people asked why, I clearly stated because it was fucking up my life and I was worth more than that. There is no comeback to that, and it was the truth.
**Bonus tip** Always have an escape plan. You never know when you might need to leave an event. Don’t depend on carpooling with your cousin Susan who is always the last one to leave. Make sure you have another way home. Drive your own car if you can. If you need to leave your partner at an event because they’re not ready to leave yet, give them some money for an Uber while you head home and get yourself tucked into bed with a good book and a cup of tea. Another win for sobriety!
If you’re ready to begin exploring your relationship with alcohol please reach out and book a STRONGER SOBER session. I’ve got you.
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash
